All 74 game Reviews


Slap The Trump Slap The Trump

Rated 0.5 / 5 stars

Completely randomized, can do nothing for a long time, then just dump everything on you at once, making enemies completely unavoidable. (also the ad took longer to load than the game, seriously?)

But hey, I'm willing to bet this game was made by CTR, so I kind of expected crap quality from a crap candidates crap fan. ;P


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Monster Book Monster Book

Rated 4 / 5 stars

Ahh yes, these drawings remind me of me... When I was 12. I'm a crap artist.

Very good to remenice, yes?

...Wish my drawings survived the various moves. Still though, thank you for sharing this with us matt. And keep up the good work!


matt-likes-swords responds:

Thanks!


Album Cover Parodies Album Cover Parodies

Rated 3 / 5 stars

Not badly made, the SFX got a little grating at times, but the important part is "how were the parodies" and they were good.

Sure I got a crappy score, despite knowing what a 45" is. But I never much liked music as a standalone art form. Preferred it as a supporting art. Something used to make something else better, not to sit and listen to for an hour straight after buying a $10-$12 CD. But that's just me. xP

Still well made. :)


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Newgrounds' Illuminatimas Newgrounds' Illuminatimas

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

Well done art, funny "where's waldo" styled play. All in all a good use of 10-15 minutes while I downloaded a game off Steam sale. Only real complaint is the music gets grating after the first few loops because it's such a short loop. Would be nice if there were more than one song I guess. Thankfully there was a mute button so I could start listening to Spanish Flea and the Jeopardy theme while looking for that last other reference.
The only hint I'll give: If you don't know what the "other references" are, check the sticky notes around the cards.

...If you're REALLY desperate... Umm, [SPOILER_ALERT]owls/butterflies/checkerboards[/SPOILER_ALERT]


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Street Life Street Life

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

Still better than Adventure Quest and that's going strong... Just wish the framerate didn't suffer over the years. :c
Stamper you should make another game.


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Castle Guard Castle Guard

Rated 2 / 5 stars

Far too much like every other game of it's type.
Spear > Horse > Sword > Archer > Spear...
I don't know what else to really review here other than I've seen it a million times over and each time better done than this. Feels really overrated, doesn't seem to try to explain much, blatantly shows the hard-counters in the upgrade screen, just in general feels old and dated (and looks like it too, animations appear to be from 2005)


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Nuclear Plant 2 Nuclear Plant 2

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

Far too easy, completed it in 10-15 minutes, maxed out all the skills and still had 20+ points left over, bought all but one gun (the one assigned to key "6") it just felt short, repetitive, and all in all like a waste of time. Enemies never got "harder" they just got more health. Maybe if they fought back rather than running straight at me it would have been more fun.

2.5/5 due to lack of glitches and being functional; but still being really boring and short.



Slender 2D Slender 2D

Rated 2 / 5 stars

"Ehh"
If this game has proven anything, it's that "who needs skill or originality when I can make a game based off a meme and get 'best of the month' for it."
That being said, to the list of problems.
The art is horrible for starters, you might as well not have the "player character" model in the center because its legs are some of the worst. The static isn't very good looking AT ALL and I don't think when that happens the foreground images should show through them.
The sprint mechanic is useless, with unlimited stamina there's no reason to NOT use it, like the predators cloaking in the new AvP it's a waste of a button and giving the player busywork (or pinky cramp) instead of strategy or a real use. When I saw slender, I'm sorry but I just started laughing, he looked so out of place with the rest of the art, like a horrible Photoshop monstrosity (not the scary kind, the "omg lol" kind.)
Lastly, it's not too frightening, like Slender itself it's 90% hype, the 10% remaining being suspense, it's not frightening or anything it's just "is it about to blow my ears out? is it? Is It?! IS IT?!?!" at which point to instantly "turn off the scary" just mute the darn game, it has about as much terror as listening to an MP3 track that suddenly in the middle of the song blasts static and a scream into your ear before laughing and going "haha, got you". There's no sense of terror, it's as though slender himself is that one dick friend that after inviting you over hides behind your door only to jump out and yell "BALOOGY-WOOGY-WOO!" when you least expect it.

I don't like tearing games a new one, but it's poorly made, poorly drawn, elements just feel out of place at times, and you shouldn't be able to break a sense of terror by disabling a sense. I want something where players almost jump back to cover their eyes but have to keep plowing through (instead of just their ears).

4/10 - No bugs or real breaking issues, just bland, unfun, unoriginal, and looks lazy.



Gangnam Style Dance Gangnam Style Dance

Rated 0.5 / 5 stars

Pretty dang crappy... But hey, #2 worldwide high score.
but yeah, fix the hit detection, make it vertical, and use a better version of the song.


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Effing Worms 2 Effing Worms 2

Rated 3 / 5 stars

"Fun but far too easy."
Compared to the first this one is far more boring and imbalanced in upgrades, there's something serious wrong when within 5 minutes of play I can reach the final mutation, never die once, get all the medals, and reach a combo of at least 999 in the post-game mode.

It's still fun don't get me wrong but when the first you had to be careful and in this you have to just tap the arrows enough to stay above ground you can clear a level in mere seconds with no chance of death.

And I still say it's a "Death Worm" clone. Just added upgrades and meme-based enemies. Wish you kept the "Day/Night" and "Under/Above Ground" options though.


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